Money Can Buy Happiness Part 2 - What does happiness really feel like?

Song 
You Can Buy Happiness 
By Dyalekt and Warren Britt

Season 2 of the Brunch & Budget podcast will share 3 part arcs of big topics:
Part 1 is KNOW - what are the key things you need to understand about the topic, the bigger systemic picture around it, and where the racial wealth divide fits in
Part 2 is FEEL - how do you integrate the topic into your personal relationship with money and unpack the behaviors, reactions, and habits around it
Part 3 is DO - we take you through Brunch & Budget’s 5 Stages to Financial Legacy so you have clear action steps for what to do at every stage of your finances

Hosts - 

Pamela Capalad is a Certified Financial Planner™ and Accredited Financial Counselor™ and has been in financial services since 2008. She founded Brunch & Budget to help people who felt ashamed or embarrassed about money have a safe place to make real financial progress.  Pam has been featured in the Washington Post, Teen Vogue, Huffington Post, Vice Magazine, and was named New York Magazine’s Best financial planner of New York 2019.

Brian "Dyalekt" Kushner has been a hip-hop MC, theater maker, and educator for nearly 20 years. He’s the director of pedagogy at Pockets Change, where he uses hip-hop pedagogy to demystify personal finance and help students take control of their relationship with money. He is the recipients of Jump$tart’s 2022 Innovation in Financial Literacy award. He’s rocked (performed/taught/keynoted) everywhere from conferences like AFCPE and Prosperity Now, to stages like SXSW and the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, to classrooms that range from Yale to your cousin’s living room.

Pam & Dyalekt host the Brunch & Budget podcast and cofounded Brunch & Budget's group financial planning program for POC called See Change. They regularly keynote on how art, culture, and media are used to perpetuate racial wealth inequality.

For services check out our website 

https://brunchandbudget.com/seechange/
Follow us on Instagram @brunchandbudget

Thanks for listening to the Brunch and Budget podcast. Please feel free to rate us, debate us, hate us, on Apple podcasts or anywhere that lets you subscribe. Add us to your archives and feel free to share an episode you think can help somebody out. If you've got questions, corrections or a song about money financial systems or how you feel about either please send it to letsbrunch@brunchandbudget.com We'd love some indie artists. Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE to our newsletter by texting BRUNCH to 33777. 

Transcript

Dyalekt: 0:03

Whoa, all right, so today is gonna be a fun one, right? Today, it's gonna be fun.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 0:07

I think so well, I think that, you know, we talked all the scientifical stuff about whether or not money can buy happiness, but like, happiness is a feeling right? And so we're in part two, which is how you feel? How do you integrate the topic into your personal relationship with money and unpack the behaviors, reactions, and habits around him? That's what part two is all about?

Dyalekt: 0:25

Because I think I want to get a little bit out of the statistical that we're in, in the first episode of the arc where we're talking about averages and like, what does mean and and medium? It did made me think you're talking about, you know, good spin off podcast, I would love if maybe some listeners to the show, a couple of young ladies would put together a show where they talk about averages and call it mean girls?

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 0:50

No. Oh, I hope somebody does. I wouldn't really

Dyalekt: 0:54

like it was it was a funny joke to me in the moment. But I also very much would listen to the show. So would in case you're wondering whether or not you would have listeners?

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 1:03

You got one. So we wanted to start this episode with a great time article called here's how money really can buy happiness. And the article laid out kind of the three feelings that happen where it kind of feels like we're on like a treadmill, right? It feels like oh, well, money can buy happiness momentarily, right? And, you know, why does it never feel like we're happy with what we have and things like that. And there are like many like, there, they go through a number of great like human conditions, I guess when it comes to it. So the three things out of this very long article that I really pulled out were one in terms of whether or not money can buy you happiness is one we're never satisfied to there's lifestyle creep in our ability to adapt to a situation as humans, regardless of whether we have more or less, and then always comparing ourselves to others. Right. And these were all like, biologically necessary for us. But now they've adapted into us never feel like we have enough us feel like we have to keep up with the Joneses. You know? You've done it again. Yeah,

Dyalekt: 2:18

we doing a study all the time given us is imperative. Imperative anymore. Yeah.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 2:23

So the thing that's interesting, the very first thing they talk about is the new science of happiness starts with a simple insight, we're never satisfied. That is a line from the article, we always say we just had a little bit more money, we'd be happier, right? Oh, if I just had a little bit more off, I just got a little bump. If I just got a little raise, if I had a little bit more, I'd be happy. But the thing is that, you know, throughout our lives, we've increased our income. Right, right. And at every stage, it still feels like it's not enough, you know, and again, we just did this arc on how much is enough? A couple months ago. And what's interesting here is this idea of like, Is happiness, something that is just fleeting or momentary, even, right,

Dyalekt: 3:03

yeah, I mean, some of it, it's like, the kind of the definition of the word is like, right, we need a different word for the momentary feeling of joy. And then another word for the satisfaction of a lifetime. And even to get a little more pain in the behind about it, can one even measure their own happiness? Or does that require a neutral third party,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 3:22

right? Or does it require a relatively speaking thing, right? Of like, I'm happy because or compared to x person, right?

Dyalekt: 3:30

I'm happy. And then how does how to things like empathy and justice work into that, you know, you're talking about satisfied I think of the J live song, the poor get worse, the rich get richer, the word gets worse. Do you get the picture? You know?

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 3:42

Yeah. Yeah. So that's one thing is the real, the real question that we asked a couple months ago, how much is enough is also tied to happiness, right? And happiness being moment here. I think that was really interesting about the Penn University study and delineating the difference between experience versus evaluative happiness, right? Of like, I'm experiencing day to day happiness. Overall, when I say that I have a happy life. And so one of the reasons why he doesn't feel like he has because you're like, well, I could always have more, right. The other thing that's interesting is, so they go into how many of us do overestimate and this goes into the lifestyle creep, right? We're very adaptable. And it said, it's been a plus during assorted ice ages, plagues and wars. But that's also why you'll never you're never all that satisfied for long when good fortune comes your way. So whether a good thing or a bad thing happens, we adjust to it. Right? And if we lose money, if we make more money, whatever it is, like we as humans don't have to figure it out. And so when we're on the when we're on the track of getting more and more and more, there's this thing that economists call a hedonistic treadmill or heat he Donek treadmill or he Donek

Dyalekt: 4:55

treadmill sounds a lot more fun

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 4:57

lifestyle creep. The reason why It's called a creep is because you just get more and more used to certain things that you didn't have before that you have now

Dyalekt: 5:07

you were talking about more fundamental human stuff of being able to surmount obstacles. And by able to deal with these problems, it's, you know, the usual pattern recognition stuff where it used to help us, you know, have a the beasts that were trying to eat us. And now that there are no natural predators, we put it into overdrive into things that aren't necessarily the thing for us. But it does feel like that there always is the possibility of enough weather of more than enough whether it's our neighbors, or just our imagination, it always feels like that, because we always feel like we should be struggling or fighting. It's even why sometimes y'all know about this, when you came across something easily, you want to come up with a story about how you actually had to struggle for it. And that's what gets the headlines,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 5:48

right? Well, and it's why we're drawn to things like challenges, right? 30 day challenges like boot camps, high intensity, all of that stuff. It's it's our human nature, wanting to overcome something and wanting to, you know, stress and wanting to struggle. Weird, says, you know,

Dyalekt: 6:06

it's why we subject ourselves to tests. Yeah, we've talked about how tests aren't really good things, but it feels good when we can beat them.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 6:11

Yeah, it really does, right. And so what's interesting is, I love the example that they use in the article about when you go to buy a new car, right, and they say, you know, when you go to buy a new Porsche, you imagine buying the Porsche, what you're really imagining is like, the moment that you get it. And that's the point where we're most happy when we get something, right. If we think about the peak of happiness, it's the anticipation towards it, and then finally getting it and then it's a pretty, it's a pretty significant drop from there. And one thing they said, the interesting thing is that most people, you know, regret buying the Porsche and they like, you know, they wish they bought a different car and said, maybe they should have bought a BMW and Mercedes. Like, that's where our mind goes, where it's like, oh, I should have gotten the Porsche I should have gotten a different car. Versus like questioning why you thought the car itself or the purchase of the car was gonna make you happy in the first place.

Dyalekt: 6:58

Yeah, and what this is, I mean, kind of the crux of the money can't buy happiness idea is that they're saying that the feeling of purchase is something so wholly divorced from the satisfaction feeling that you can't call it actual happiness. And mind you, Hey, I know students, you've known clients, we've done this ourselves where you know, the cat, who and you might be the person who not only buy the shirt in every color, you've bought three of that shirt, and not when the first two wore out. You have all three of it sitting in your closet right now. You didn't even open them. You just liked it. And you bought it and you liked that feeling. Yeah, I know people who've admitted to me like, and I think this is what you call like an actual shopping addiction is they really love the feeling of making the purchase. And everything after that was empty.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 7:49

Yeah, I mean, I've heard with online shopping. What's interesting is you get that ping twice, right? You get Yeah, you get it when you buy the thing. And then two days later the package Yes. there and you get it again.

Dyalekt: 8:01

Two days later, you got the good ship. Good shipping, express ordering from somewhere around the country where it's like six and a half months later, you're like,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 8:13

also why people love two day shipping. Because it comes to you so quickly. Yeah, exactly. So there's, there's even that like that, that buying high. That happens twice with online shopping,

Dyalekt: 8:26

although I gotta say for my bootleg buying people, when you get the one that six months later, you don't mind as much that it's completely different from the picture, because you're just like this blue checkered jacket the whole time you bought red striped pants, but you're like, oh, this blue chicken jacket looks great.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 8:44

Exactly. There you go. Oh, my gosh. So we're never satisfied. We adapt to situations whether they're good or bad. So lifestyle creep happens. And we're great at comparing ourselves

Dyalekt: 8:57

to comparing and competing and competing, yeah, wanting to do that make that feel like a good thing. And all of that stuff works together to make us well, it doesn't. I guess this is the question. This is something that we're just asking you have you as a listener, for you to decide, does this make you actually not happy? Or are these markers indicative of something else?

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 9:20

Mm hmm.

Dyalekt: 9:20

Is it that you actually and when I say not happy? I mean, is this something that you need to fundamentally change in your life? And when it comes to your money stuff, does that mean that you have to change your entire relationship with money, your entire career, the way that you save money, the way that you think of money? Is that what has to happen for you? And for that to happen? I think what we really need to break down and yeah, I know this is the feelings episode that we're getting really into our feelings and I want y'all to do this and this part is really heavy is how much do you care? How much do you actually care about these things that you're purchasing for you? Not for other people? or maybe, hey, maybe the other people part counts as well, because that's

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 10:03

interesting. Do you care about? Yeah, well, because that's the interesting thing when it comes to comparing people is one of the things that article pointed out is, we don't compare ourselves to Jeff Bezos or Bill Gates or like people who are so much more wealthy than us. We compare ourselves to like people who are similar than us, but like, have a little bit more. Right. And you think I could have been that person? I have

Dyalekt: 10:23

so much more hair wealth than Jeff Bezos. I really do. I don't think that he could compare to me.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 10:32

Right? If, if that's what we're measuring? Correct.

Dyalekt: 10:35

I'm just like, we're not even the same category. No, shout out to my ball. People. Y'all are cool. I'm just trying to make fun of Jesse, Jesse. And I have that he doesn't, you're still you're a good full person if you don't have here. Yes.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 10:49

Thank you for that aside, I appreciate I appreciate that. I appreciate that. And disclaimer,

Dyalekt: 10:54

because you know, here's a funny thing that someone pointed out, whenever you do use low hanging fruit to make fun of a famous person or a rich person that you know, you just want to like take them down a peg. Like you're saying they never hear it, but the person who does hear it is the person at your level, right? Or like, wait a minute, fits that description, right? Like I was in the middle of that I was like, oh, no, I'm not actually like Jeff Bezos, and all the ball cats out there. And you're like, Y'all are good people. You're cool. We all

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 11:22

have a problem with you. Right? Yes. Similar others? Yeah. We're all similar others. I think that point is really interesting, because, you know, we talk a lot about what your values are, what your spending values are, what your money values are, what your what, what your values are. Not in relation to anyone else. But is that

Dyalekt: 11:45

possible? Right, right. Right. Right. But it's not fast.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 11:49

And well, and I think the thing that happens is that advertising and commercials put this into overdrive, right? We they know, we're comparing ourselves to our neighbors in a sense. So like, well, we're going to compare you with fucking everyone. And like, everyone has this and you don't, right. And so how do you sift through that noise? of, hey, like, these are my actual values? These are things that I actually want. Not because my neighbors have it not because of advertisers telling me what because it's like, it feels connected to me and aligned to me.

Dyalekt: 12:20

Yeah, I think that's why a lot of celebrity culture stuff, especially in the past 20 ish years, has been about this personal connection. I mean, not to go super, all the way there with it. But I mean, the show was called Keeping Up With The Kardashians. Yeah. And before that, I remember, I'm completely blanking. You might remember the phrase, there was something that was related to Diddy to Puff Daddy. And there was like a keeping up with the combs is, I forget if he said it in a song, you know what I'm talking about? Like, there was some thing that was his brand is like, I'm the guy that you write,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 12:54

like, keeping up with the Joneses. Yeah. Yeah.

Dyalekt: 12:58

That's that direct line to the keeping up with the reality star heiress, right? Lawyers? Yeah. Because that's what we all are. Yeah, right.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 13:07

Exactly. Today's episode is sponsored by us, French and budget, French and budget is not just a podcast. It's a financial planning practice with a team of certified financial planners, and accredited financial counselors, ready to work with people who need a safe space to talk about your finances. Many of our clients come to us because someone or something made them feel bad about their money. We are the antidote to that. We do all our financial planning and coaching through a racial wealth equity lens. And we'll use our very own five stages to financial legacy to show you how far you've come and where you're headed. go to brunch and budget.com to learn more. So let's talk about these money personalities because the money personalities are a good starting point, and a good place to find the root of what your values are.

Dyalekt: 13:55

Yeah, if you haven't taken the money personality test, please go to brunch, budget.com/personality or pockets change.com/personality We have lots of places you can take the tests and get some stuff from us, where you can find out your tendencies. Again, these are not the be all end all of who you are. These are just some feelings and these feelings have a lot to do with our financial decisions. So if you answered APR one and a for two and you're a complicated, I want to talk about what feelings you equate with happiness,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 14:23

right? What are you actually looking for when you say happiness? Because it means different things to different people

Dyalekt: 14:28

and complicated is often very happy when they have security and comfort. It's true. Yeah, I have a whole thing I was gonna say but you know, since you are like the poster person, complicated. Gosh, I

Unknown: 14:41

know I talked about it. So it's just it's also because you made the poster. So I did. I did. I

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 14:46

complicated the heck out of it.

Dyalekt: 14:49

It's funny. Tell me about how security and comfort make you happy? Well,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 14:52

it's really interesting because I remember when we were talking about this part of the show, and we were talking about can you separate safety and happiness, right? Can you? Can I be happy if I don't feel safe? And you said yes. And I said, No.

Dyalekt: 15:08

And I'll get to mine. But yeah, definitely I don't have to feel safe.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 15:11

Yeah. But for me it there's this foundation of safety that I'm looking for, when it comes to whether or not I feel whether or not I feel happy, or whether or not I can feel happy, right. And I think we were talking about that in the last episode, just about this threshold of like, not feeling like you just have to survive, right? Where you can get to the point, we can even start to question like, Am I happy? Am I not happy? What would actually make me happy? And I think I need to be in a place. And I know a lot of complicated need to be in a place where first you feel like your finances are secure. And you feel like you can be comfortable, right? And I think that when these are like two perfect words for complicated is like happiness, equal security and comfort. Right? I feel like I don't have worries, I worry enough already. Right? So if I didn't have to worry about my money, then that, that takes that out of my brain and into something else into a spreadsheet, into a bank account, you know, into a credit card, whatever it is, right? And I think that one thing about happiness with compensators is determining that and recognizing if that's something you need, so that you can think about what actually makes you happy.

Dyalekt: 16:27

What's interesting about complicated, this is gonna be a little aside, but we're gonna get back to the other personalities in a second is y'all like to complicate things in your heads? But the things that make you feel calm, the things that make you feel happy are actually very simple. It's like, uh, you know about socks? I don't know about y'all know about socks on about the whole socks thing? sex and sex. Oh, yeah, there is this thing. I'm terrible at citing sources out again, we're not actual journalists. But I read this thing a while back about how you should wear socks during sex. And they said, especially with women, but this goes across all genders but like, wear socks during sex. Because if your feet are cold, and this may have a connection to another idiom, you're less likely to have an orgasm. You're not comfortable? Not gonna be able to not. And I don't know what makes you happy? I mean, I know it makes you happy. Hi, honey. Boil you listeners out there? I don't know what makes y'all happy. I really don't. Hi, honey. But it's you're often think it's like it's a complicated thing, right? Oh, I need to have this and then. Good at six. Do the backflip and the spin around. He'd be gibi you know, sometimes tell them

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 17:47

to keep their socks on?

Unknown: 17:48

Yeah, just socks. Yeah, be like, I

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 17:51

don't care where your socks? I feel that you're right.

Dyalekt: 17:56

If you answered a for one and B for two, you might be a contemplator. And for contemplate errs, I mean, talks during sex, like I said, for everybody probably keep you warm. Keep it nice, but they're the ones where they might be more likely to wear one sock. Oh, because then like think about their food, their money, their basics, they like adventure, wonder to explore the vastness of the world, right?

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 18:21

They don't want money to feel like it's holding them back. They want to have

Dyalekt: 18:24

opportunities. They want to even be able to deal with adversity. But yeah, they need to have those things. And this is why I think a contemplator is more likely to be okay with being safe. If this lack of safety presents an opportunity to do something that supersedes what they thought they could be. This is the Wonder part where they can be special where they can make something out of what they're doing,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 18:50

right? I feel like with contemplate errs, money feels mundane, right? It doesn't feel exciting, it feels like it's the barrier that stops them from being able to do all of these things they want to do. It's a

Dyalekt: 19:01

silly system that like, Oh, who cares? It's so arbitrary. I just want to be able to do my thing. And having money even though again, contradictory, because they're not going to say that the money is the thing that they want, because they're not thinking of it as the end or final goal. It's like, it's there in the way and if I can be okay with that stuff, then I can have paths to happiness. I mean, there's also paths to unhappiness, but those are within our ability to make decisions and control controlling decisions just keep running through. It's like, the whole like neuroscience thing of like, do we actually make decisions? Or are we just animals who are reacting to whatever stimuli right and the more money is and again, the metaphor about poor people being more atavistic and rich people being more human right. As we have more money, we are afforded more options, more ability to make decisions. So we eat I feel more like we're human. Yeah,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 20:02

totally. Yeah. I feel like people even say that, Oh, I finally took a shower and I feel like a human. Right we use that phrase a lot. Yeah, civilized. Yeah. And in the next episode and the part three, we're going to talk about controlling decisions. That's a big part of this. And that's a big part of like happiness in general.

Dyalekt: 20:23

Today's episode is sponsored by us buckets change at pockets change. We offer in person and virtual workshops for students from grade school to grad school professional development for educators and administrators and jams for the whole family to learn, unlearn, and unpack. We use Hip Hop pedagogy in the classroom to meet students where they're at and hiphop performance in the communities to dispel myths and create new common sense around money. For some free resources. Go to pocket change.com/toolkit and sign up for our newsletter. Let's change the way we talk about finance. So on the civilized thing, if you answered would be for one and a half or two, when the limo rolls up and pulls out the Grey Poupon, the paper chaser sues that as an opportunity to start their own business. Now, paper chasers, they enjoy inclusion and competition. And what I say by inclusion is, a lot of times I've seen this socially Oh, amongst paper chasers, folks just want to get down. They want to be involved. They want to feel like they're a part of a community. And for paper chasers, they're able to use money to get themselves involved in a community. They can contribute funds to some program that's going on, they can create a business that services a community. I think a lot of b2b businesses, especially ones in creative fields are oftentimes I found paper chasers, because they love being able to make that connection, because that's their value. And it's like, we're friends, because I provide a value to you. And this value I provide makes us all able to be happier. A weird thing about the different money personalities and different perspectives on happiness is that we often try to give it to each other without worrying about whether or not it's what you consider happiness, right? Yeah. So that's why paper chasers are often like gleefully selling you a product and you're like, fam, I'm just trying to chill right now. Because they think that it's going to make you happier, right? They're not trying to do Yeah, yeah, the competition part of it means that if they get enough game, if they're smart enough, if they're right enough, if they're real enough, they will be able to sell it to you, and you will be happier. That's why you'll find yourself sometimes talking to this entrepreneur, and you're like, leave me alone. And they're like, No, you need this thing. It's not like they're just trying to sell you. They really do think that they can help you out and make your life better and make you happy.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 22:31

Yeah, they believe that. Yeah, and they often can. And I think that that's really interesting. I wouldn't have thought that for a paper chase or like other people's happiness, predicates their happiness, but in a lot of ways that connection. You know, you wrote competition here too. And there is the aspect of it because paper chasers love playing the game. But really, it's because there's a collaborative aspect to competition and a lot of ways right. I think that's really interesting. And they do find a lot of joy and Glee in that.

Dyalekt: 23:00

By the way, competition without collaboration is just a fight. Any type of competition that exists, it's not just a fight, there is collaborate. No, you're so

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 23:11

right. I'll never forget this example that you told me about like B boys, right? And a B boy competition is you would never like in competition like Trip A B boy.

Dyalekt: 23:22

Yo, your you'll steal their hat. Yeah. And right. Like the competition is like, I get so close to you without ever touching you.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 23:29

Right? Or you'd like dance in collaboration, but you would clearly be the better dancer. Right? You would never end the competition by like punching them in the face. Well, then the party's over. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, chases

Dyalekt: 23:43

the party moves they do. And again, why they think of others as an important part of who they are to this brings us to the money monks, if you answered B for one and B for two, they both are on the same side and the right side of the matrix that we have designed. And that's because other people's opinions and other people's feelings. They matter a lot because these are money personalities who are very dependent on being a part of society. So for money, monks in particular, we care about Amanda sounds like so much loftier than it shouldn't be but it's for real equality and justice. And we want to know that not only am I getting a good thing, but it is now available for other people. Yeah. And if I can make it available for other people, if I can make something cheaper, it's why too many times money, monks will lower our prices for things when we probably shouldn't.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 24:35

Yeah, the thing the thing that's interesting about money, monks and how you describe that is you know, it's this interesting, like you can't be happy until everyone is happy. Right and you will give up your ability to be happy. If that's not the case, which will never be the case. Yeah,

Dyalekt: 24:54

just just showing up with a duffel bag of socks at prom. Come on.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 24:59

Keep yourself axon

Dyalekt: 25:03

I told you we're gonna do use a lot of idioms.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 25:09

Oh, but yeah, there's that aspect. Well, funny monkey,

Dyalekt: 25:12

this is the thing of it. Oh man, there's another great quote that's a, that's a better thing that I'm going to say. But it isn't happiness until we're all happy. It isn't satiation, if one of us is hungry. It just doesn't work, right? I can't be happy. And I'm only monks. So like, this is real, you know, I will sit in a room, and everybody's happy. It's my birthday, and my birthday party. And I'm being given the last slice of cake. And I'm seeing someone over there crying because they're not they didn't get any cake because they were in the bathroom cake was handed out. I'm a happier person making sure that they get the cake. It doesn't make me a better person. I think that's one thing to have money Max, it doesn't make you a better person. Yeah, you do this thing. Because like on the real,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 26:00

if you take this literally especially well,

Dyalekt: 26:03

there are plenty of times where folks aren't happy. Like we feel sad about like, you know, Paper Chase is doing this to folks aren't happy with you bending over backwards to try to give them something and they want things in different ways. So even the things that you create that you're like, Oh, I'm being altruistic, it may not be what other people

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 26:20

right? Like, why do you why do you think they were crying in the bathroom because they didn't get cake, they could be cranking them up for any reason,

Dyalekt: 26:26

any reason? Nothing to do with show behind. I think that's also part of the thing, right? This equality, justice stuff, it is a way of centering ourselves, that is similar to how a as a complicated or you would send to yourself in the work that you're doing for yourself. Yeah, we find a value in that. So we center ourselves in the way that we are helping our community. But it's still centered on ourselves, just um, just want you to be real, that this stuff is about you. And it doesn't make you a more really better person that it's important to you to see justice out there. But it is something for you to think about in terms of what really is going to make you happy. And it is a place where I need you just like the complicated. I need you to find the simple thing. I'm making these jokes about the socks, right? But if you can bring the socks for everybody at the party. And then after that, you can go yeah, now I can be selfish. That's happiness. Yeah.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 27:24

Well, and also, that sigh that you just gave my first thought was you feeling like you did enough? Yeah, that's exactly what it is. How much is enough? Right? Yeah,

Dyalekt: 27:34

I very much this is like just personal. But I think very money monkey is like, I am not able to take breaks until I feel like I've done enough. I don't like you know, we're three quarters done the thing and we're gonna stop for some food, like, Nah, let me just finish and then I'll be able to eat, relax, that comfort. Yeah, that we're talking about for your money, personality, they often come to the same things. It's just these are all these different routes that we use to get there. So no matter your money, personality, I need you to think about the ways that we can use simple stuff. And this is where our idioms get really messy because this is like, the type of advice that someone would then give would be some best things in life are free kinds of stuff, right? And there are inexpensive or free ways to feel good, you can literally go and take a walk but you can't go and take a walk if you don't have good shoes or you don't have the jacket and it's cold. Or if you know that you're walking out with your shoes, but your neighbor is cold and without shoes. Those are real things, all of the simple moments are going to have to be backed up by something financial. So we're doing something a little bit different today. We've done this before though, we're gonna play a song of mine in a new song with the homie Warren Britt, it's called you can buy happiness. I figured I actually weirdly enough I we be in where we started working on the song and then I came in my head and I told him about it. She was like, Oh, that should be a show and I was like, Oh, now we got to rush to finish the song. So we'll see if the

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC: 29:11

deadlines you know, otherwise to put everyone else first.

Dyalekt: 29:15

Wow see a van. Right now I have to finish the song so we can keep this recording as part of it. But it's a war and you know, let's get going. So we put together this song about you can buy happiness. You know, they said that nothing rhymes with orange. But let's make it plural. You know what rhymes with oranges? Warmer in Britain? The only thing and maybe I can't buy happiness,

Unknown: 29:37

but I can pay for praise summer here isn't a nappy. You can buy happiness. You can buy you can buy happiness. You deserve extravagance. You can buy happiness. You can buy happiness you deserve extravagant prices skyrocket record profits because they

Dyalekt: 30:10

take what they sell it as a packet house and what they want as you look at this bond and given less than a comp and that's an easy way to stop progress everybody got under your calling Congressman on the conference but departments don't get the Lord just recap what your students and what your super PAC is gonna get it regardless

Unknown: 30:31

you can buy happiness you can buy you can buy happiness you deserve extravagance and buy you can buy happiness you can buy happiness you can buy happiness you deserve extravagance combined promises for God and not groans from the cosmic Southwark Lavon bother no begging pardons student loans these absolved Bella Solas surprise Diana quit my job I'm dealt with lack of options so to call myself trip force the wonder But psychopathic states were my thoughts on this phone as we discuss will let me fall asleep on the heap but the pediments Aiko shots will never sink in the fire magic don't like the sharp rise the big crane takes to the bomb site I the kite highs and maybe you pray right in the sphere love within the shock the shadows and night wreck the law. No respect for study, the god bless for support. Speak for your chest. Let us show the dialect. Price. You can buy happiness if you're the new j you can buy happiness for the business you know how to save you can buy happiness means stocks for fun, you can buy happiness. go bankrupt, you can buy happiness. Read a pocket you can buy happiness healthcare. You can buy happiness arousal me. You can buy happy promo but it's free speech. You can buy happiness. You can buy happiness.

Dyalekt: 32:16

You deserve extravagance. Thanks for listening to the brunch and budget podcast please feel free to rate us debate us hate us. Data's in love infatuate us something that means you'd like us but Ryan's with eight. Say what's up tell us we make great stuff on Apple podcasts or really anywhere that lets you come at Reddit YouTube, I don't know just tell somebody like just knock on your neighbor's door. Subscribe, add us to your archives feel free to share any episodes that you think will help somebody out help us expand our circle so we can bring the real to more communities. If you got a song about money, financial systems or how you feel about either please send a link or mp3 to dialect@dialect.com Figuring out how to spell it is your only real obstacle. We love some informational intentional, influential songs from indie artists.