Brunch & Budget

b&b225: Credit & Debt strategies for you and your honey

May 29, 2020 Brunch & Budget Season 1
Brunch & Budget
b&b225: Credit & Debt strategies for you and your honey
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Brunch & Budget
b&b225: Credit & Debt strategies for you and your honey
May 29, 2020 Season 1
Brunch & Budget

In this podcast we will tackle the different ways to approach that tricky "money" conversation with you partner.  

Show Notes Transcript

In this podcast we will tackle the different ways to approach that tricky "money" conversation with you partner.  

Dyalekt :

Just like hot toddies and hot takes justice is best served on a hot plate. Welcome to brunch and budget the show about racial economic inclusion and personal finance. With your host Pamela Capaled, a Certified Financial Planner and Accredited Financial Counselor here to take a bite out of your budget. Brunch & budget is part of the race and wealth network. I am your sound provider Dyalekt, and here's your host, Pamela Capalad.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Hello everybody, how's it going? It's such a nice day today, isn't it?

Dyalekt :

You know with the intro I said about hot toddies and hot takes because no No, no, no, I have a real reason I have no reason. We're doing a thing. We're doing a thing about this hot toddies and alcohol. We are doing a thing.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Hope the glow gang shows up in a little bit. But on Saturday tomorrow at 2pm Eastern time, we are doing a workshop on cocktails and credit.

Dyalekt :

We're calling it cocktails and credit, it's not a workshop on cocktails and credit right? I teach you how to make cocktails, we don't really know how to make cocktails. We're not like cocktail experts, but we are gonna make cocktails and talk about credit while folks make cocktails and talk about credit. It's kind of like a drinking game about credit.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yes, exactly. a drinking game about credit.

Dyalekt :

Well, not like a full out drinking game of credit. Because if you really did a full out drinking game about credit, we probably all die.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah. Be really drunk, at least.

Dyalekt :

Speaking of dangerous things that we're going to be talking about, oh,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Oh man, we're gonna be talking about credit and debt strategies for you and your significant other.

Unknown Speaker :

Relationship stuff and money stuff are always the tough thing. So fine. I mean, this is the whole thing of what branch of budget does, right? Yeah, you talk about money. And we talk about the practical tips and the strategies and all that but none of that really matters unless we examine our relationship with money. What are the things that are important to us? What are the things that we're trying to do and then that compounds whenever we talk about our other relationships and when it comes to our dating relationships that are supposed to be realist, right? I'm seeing all the same piece with all the hearts, right? The realist stuff. Oh,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Especially with someone you love

Dyalekt :

Talking about anything with somebody you love, but then talking about serious stuff things like money and taxes.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

And things that we are already ashamed of right? We don't talk about it with anyone

Dyalekt :

I know you know about this? Oh yeah, let's get into it. We have a lot of questions that have been asked again, the format of what's been going on with these live podcasts we've been doing is that we've seen a lot of questions. So if you have questions, feel free to ask them in the chat. But we also have some that people have been asking during the week.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yes, absolutely. So we have a bunch of those questions. And I just want to share this stat, first of all that we read recently, stats o stats. More than two thirds of engaged couples have negative attitudes about discussing money with their soon to be spouse with 5% one out of 20 couples, saying that even having a conversation would cause them to call off their wedding.

Dyalekt :

That's without even alking to their partner. No, I want to hope that actually if they did talk to their partner, you would find out it was less than that.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Well, maybe that's why because they didn't talk to the partner. They're like, I don't know, I can't do it. I've had many clients tell me that the only thing they fight about is money. They talk about everything else. Think about anything else under the sun, it's the only thing they talk about only thing that they fight about is money. So we wanted to start with a question from a follower. And she asked what strategies you suggest for getting on the same page about money? Where do we start? And I thought that would be a good place to start?

Dyalekt :

Yeah, where do we start? That's the hard thing. Like all the stuff that you're talking about is very typical in all types of relationships. When it comes with dating person, like, you know, talking to your parents about money. You already have a relationship with your parents, your cousins about money, even your friends about money, but your relationship when it comes to dating, there's first of all, all the norms that go into it and all this kind of stuff. And you're ending up where Yeah, so to talk about where we start is like everything in relationships. We find the thing that is the easiest. Like we have prescriptive stuff about, you know, people verbal and all this. But the real for real of it when you're talking to me when it comes to your relationship and you starting out with things is find an easy part. Everyone always likes to tell you about finding a way to sneak it in. And the reason that people give this advice is because it's adjacent to the right thing. It's not that we want to sneak things in or trick things about our partner. But we want to build habits and habits are built through repetition of difficult things that start as easy as possible. When you start doing a workout. You don't lift the biggest weight, you lift the weight that you can as many times as you can, and you build up.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

like don't ask your parents show them all of their to show you all of their credit card statements at first.

Dyalekt :

Well, this is the big thing. Also don't do the big, huge high level thing. Yeah, the way that I recommend and something that I think that we've done as partners, we're partners in case you don't know we have the baby and all the stuff. We talk about our value, our big value, without judgment. I will say Pam, this is stuff that's important to me. I care about the racial wealth divide and making sure that like people, indigenous people, and people of color in general are treated fairly and are given the same type of access other folks.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah, that's great. I love that. And then we can have a conversation about that. And I'll say, I agree with that Dyalekt.

Dyalekt :

Or you can have your own things that you say and you feel and then after that, find a small thing. One small, thing that you can have a regular conversation about.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Well, I have a question for you actually. So it's the first date, who paid? Oh, money comes up right away all. Okay.

Dyalekt :

So who pays? I don't want to put my feelings about this kind of stuff. Because you know, oh, no, actually, I'll put mine

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Put your feelings out there.

Dyalekt :

I like to pay on the first date. But I had this thing that I said many years ago when I was a kid and I still kind of hold on to it. Like I like to pay on the first day, but I like for my partner to offer.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

I did that!

Dyalekt :

Having that being said, that's very juvenile way to look at it. I think what's really important about who pays, Is the conversation beforehand?

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Oh, wait, so you bring up money on the first date? What do you mean about the conversation beforehand?

Dyalekt :

So if I'm asking you out, I think and this is a part of that we're saying about being vulnerable first. Yeah, I'm asking you out, I'm going to let you know that I intend on pay. Yeah, I'm not saying that other people like, Oh, this is a prescribed method. But since I know that I want to pay on the first day, I want to let you know that I intend on paying on the first date, you have an issue with that you can let me know right away. Right, have that conversation. The thing about the awkwardness of it is getting the awkwardness out of the way first, I'm really looking into the house. I am not about that whole on your first day here are doing an audition. So you're acting like not yourself. There's no point for that. We ain't got time for that. Nobody got time for that. Bang a pot on the side of your head to wake you up. Listen, being yourself in the first day means talking about the things that really matter. And they matter to you. And it's a matter to me. Yeah, if you don't care, and it's something that doesn't matter. Feel free to mention that.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah, if you're fine Just seeing what happened. Totally, totally. Okay. So yeah, money comes up right away. So then in terms of the strategies, let's get specific.

Dyalekt :

I want to shout out Leslie, that's real. For real for real, every decision is easier to make when you bring it back to value. Yeah. What's important to you? Because we're not just trying out for these partners. Yeah. We want to share what's important to us.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah, absolutely. And then the conversation can become easier because talking about your values is a very vulnerable conversation to begin with, right? It's one of those things where there's the risk that you find out that your partner doesn't have the same values as you. And then does the money conversation even need to happen? When you don't know your partner's values are or when you assume what they are. And that's where all of these assumptions are on money and what you should be spending your money on or saving your money on or things like that also end up happening. You want to be really open about your values, because that leads into deeper conversations about money. And then honestly, all of the administrative stuff all of the back and forth stuff gets a lot easier. It's still not going to be totally easy, but it gets a lot easier.

Dyalekt :

And what's funny is I think a lot of people are already doing this. A little subconsciously or unconsciously? Yeah. And you look at we've made the low gift about the the lady who had the credit score requirement on her Tinder. And I think what she wanted and what a lot of people in those situations they want, they want to have that conversation. They don't have the language for it. We're not prepared for it. We're not socialized to it. But these are the things that we do know.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Right, right, that the new version is the credits go. That's exactly

Dyalekt :

And if that's the paradigm through which we have these kinds of conversations, that's what people are gonna say up front. Yeah. And that's why people are getting upset, because, you know, it's not exactly what people are dealing with values. But it is a direct statement that allows you to make a judgement before you start doing the dating.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Right. And it's absolutely clear, right, this credit score feels like a tangible thing that someone can hold on to. So the thing to think about when it comes to being vulnerable first is you're going to potentially be asking your partner to share about their past mistakes and that means debt that means mistakes they made around money, and so you need to also prepare yourself to be able to share about your past mistakes or things that you feel like are mistakes. When it comes to you wanting to be the one to have the conversation, you have to volunteer that information first. And you cannot have any expectations that your partner is going to be willing to volunteer that same thing at the same time.

Dyalekt :

You have to be clear about it if you want information about a certain subject to be shared, volunteer it first without expectation. Yeah, that's huge. I know that I know that sucks. Because you're like, oh, what's gonna happen? But yeah, that's what we have to find out.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

I will say for new couples too, one thing that I found that is really helpful to do that's fun and low stakes is planning your first vacation together. You are going to have to split expenses, you are going to talk about costs and a lot of values conversations come out of planning a vacation, right? Where do you want to go? What kind of place you want to stay in what kind of place you want to have, what kind of things you want to do, what kind of things you want to eat, what kind of things you want to actually place the value on because you saying I want to spend money on nice hotel means that's the kind of thing that you value. And so you're able to open up a conversation in a really fun way. And it keeps it low stakes because you're not like joining your finances after the third date. You're saying, Hey, we want to go on a weekend together, let's figure how to split the cost. Right.

Dyalekt :

I think that's a great idea. I'm also for to complicate things. Because, you know, we haven't had anyone the comments asked this, but I want to know, well, what about now? About right now, if we haven't talked about finances? Yeah. And you know, we can't plan a vacation right now. That's right. You're right. You're right. What's something that we can do to share these things?

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah, I mean, the thing is, if you're not living with the person that you're dating, that it may be a moot point, right? Maybe one point in terms of what the practical stuff is, but it could be a really good time, even if you're like zoom, calling somebody or facetiming someone, to start figuring out if it's about to get serious, like what kinds of things you want to ask them and what kinds of things you want to share with them. I think that when it comes to starting that first conversation, it's about what am I willing to share? What am I ready to share? and What kinds of things do I want to, in a sense, like, get off my chest, right? Don't think of it as like you're trying to find information from the other person. But like, you know, we are thinking about money all the time. It's something that stresses all of us out and to think about it in the context of a partner and figuring out how you want to actually interact with them about it, I think it's a really good way to figure out like, what do you want to tell them? What do you want them to know about you?

Dyalekt :

Yo, I know I really dig this, you know, yeah. One thing I always like to say about your partner in a dating relationship is handle your ego. Yeah, you keep your ego on the low in your daily life, your work life and a lot of that stuff. When you come home to your partner, you want them to be able to understand your ego. And I think even if you're not living together yet, and you're just working this stuff out, again, the no judgement stuff, if we can kind of be each other's counselor, you know, ask like, what is something that people problem with? What is something that you care about what is something that matters to you, and I just want to listen to you share how you feel, and then the other person can share something that they feel and they don't even have to be related. They can be asynchronous things. They don't have to happen at the same time doesn't have to be I'm gonna do you and you do me type of thing we can share however you share. But the point of it is, I want to listen to you. Yeah. And I want to give you space to just keep these things out. Right. I think if you are really at a zero place and right now and everyone's you know, saying all this stuff that they really feel right now anyway,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah, I mean, I feel like now more than ever, it's a really great time to start thinking about having these conversations. And if you're in a place where the next up tough thing is, you're in a serious relationship. Maybe you're married, maybe you're you know, maybe you're about to get married, maybe you've just moved in together, whatever it is, and you haven't talked about it. How do you start? It feels like you're too far and right, you're beyond the like, oh, we're planning our first vacation. Oh, we're like doing zoom calls back and forth. Whatever it is, like what? what how do you start a conversation that feels like you've already thought about it? It feels like it's already difficult to start it where How do you go backwards?

Dyalekt :

So the reason it's difficult is because you're breaking routine. It's not even I don't even think it's about going backwards. I'm not into the whole going backwards starting over kind of thing, because we're just moving forward, we continue to have this stuff with whether we consider it baggage memories. Yeah. And I don't think that we need to go backwards in it. When we break the cycles of where we've been, there's going to be anger, there's going to be confusion, there's gonna be problems. And we're gonna have to talk that part out. And when it comes to breaking these cycles, it's about making sure that we understand we're not. They don't appreciate what's been going on. It's not that I don't love you in the situations and what's happening is that I want to question and examine, and we question examine all the things that we're doing in relationships on a periodical basis.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

You remember the first time we talked about money?

Dyalekt :

What you gonna bring up? Go ahead.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

No, I don't remember. We've been together for 12 years, y'all. I was like, how was how did we bring it up? The first time I know we went on a vacation together.

Dyalekt :

That's what I was gonna say.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

When did I tell you my credit score? I don't even remember

Dyalekt :

Lets talk about the vacaton thing. I do remember when we first went on vacation together? Yeah, he went and traveled to California. Yeah. Yeah, it was a really nice trip. And we talked about money kind of minimally what happened was we talked about things on a case by case basis. Yeah. And it was a thing where we started off very cautious. I remember at the beginning of this would be like, always just reaching for my wallet and pulling out cuz I think I needed to.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

I was like, trying to take care of all the like online payments, like booking the hotels and stuff.

Dyalekt :

And what happened was, we were talking about that and trying to figure out how it went. And I think it was me who said it, but I don't think it matters, who says it, I said, I'm gonna pay for this thing. And then you can pay for that other thing. And then I got this. And I'm pretty sure that I angled it so that I was paying a little bit more. But it was enough, that was negligible, because you can see we've been back and forth about it. And that was our first foray into being able to talk about money. Yeah, we continued on that for probably a long time. Yeah, we sat down and had a discussion about how we had been back and forth about things.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Right. Right. Right. And like, it wasn't even that we were like, we're ready to join finances. But I know I was in wealth management. And I think I was curious about your credit score something. I don't remember how that came up. But I was just like, I wonder what it is. And I hadn't checked mine in a while. So I was like, I wonder what mine is. And I think that we started kind of having that conversation from there, too.

Dyalekt :

Yeah, that was after we'd already drew out the lines.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

That was like two years into the relationship.

Dyalekt :

The thing of it is, is we started having those small conversations about money, which led to the bigger company. Yeah, about money. And this is the thing I think that's really important. Yeah, there needs to be both. And this also comes from if you guys are teachers or project managers, you know about the micro and the macro. Looking at and examining the heck of one small moment, and then reflecting on how that matters in terms of your value. things that are important. Like in corporate places, it's easy to look at, like, there's just like a values.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Like core values live by them, right? All that

Dyalekt :

And it's more nebulous when it's you. And then it becomes more nebulous when you start feeling like it's us, because when do my values become our values?

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

That's the thing to keep in mind when it comes to values is you're each still going to have your own individual values. But now you're going to have values as a couple that are a merging of the two. We still have each of our own values. But now we also have values as a family and values as a couple that are different, potentially, than the values that we also each hold on our own. Mm hmm. I think that's the thing to really it's not a negotiation thing, but an understanding thing of that you're creating something new, you're creating something new out of this. And I think that's a really good point. Actually, I just keep thinking and going back to the habits of how every time money did come up, even the little things about money. We didn't stop and talk about even if it was brief. And so by the time I got to the point where I was like I wonder what is happening scores. I wonder what my credit score is? What does that even mean? Then? It wasn't that difficult to bring it up.

Dyalekt :

Yeah, I want to do a song in a second. But I also, I want to mention when you started bringing up the stuff about credit scores, again, no tricks, no tracks. You generally ask it what's your credit score, I need to check mine because I don't know my credit score. Yeah, do not try to set up some trick or gotcha moment with your partner where you're like, I already know my credit score, I know where I'm at. And I know that you don't have your credit together. So let's...none of that is going to work. Again, tie these individual actions to your big values. If you can frame them if you are a revolutionary type person, if you can frame them as being like, hey, understanding our credit scores. it's not a judgment on you as a person. It's not gonna matter to me as far as dating you, but it is gonna let us know what type of institutions we can roll with so we can do the revolutionary stuff that we want to do. Right, that's when that works.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

I love it. So what's the song?

Unknown Speaker :

We're gonna go into a song I want to go to the UK it's actually a combo it's Irish singer songwriter, and a Venezuelan DJ. They combine to form a group called angels and they got a song called communicate. And we're gonna answer some more questions as we play the joint. We're about communicating.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Do you think there are a couple That's cute.

Song :

Wish I could convey what I'm going to say. Dangerous Okay we might not give in to the fall if we let go. Oh this is face to face baby, we can say We can save this Yeah.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

So I have a great question here

Dyalekt :

we play all indie music. If you have any music about money or about the situations that are about money, send it to us. Yes.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

So my house Ben and I are looking to buy a house in the next two to three years, we've opened a money market account and contribute $750 a month. It would be great to have an action oriented timeline, what we should be aware of I have no idea of the process and some of our friends are in their second or third house.

Dyalekt :

Yes, this is a really good question.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Excellent question. So first of all, when it comes to buying a house, that is a huge financial commitment also. Yeah, we bought a house. Yeah, we bought a house before we got married, got married, because it was a real financial commitment. Yeah. Well, that

Dyalekt :

No, I mean, honestly, because talking about conversations and communications, we had discussions about marriage. And we shared the values that like marriage is a real institution, but we didn't think of it as a determinant of our commitment. Yeah, we talked about what would be a real commitment at the same time you were considering buying a house,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Right. And then at some point, it just made sense for us to be talking about buying a house together before it actually made sense for us to get married.

Dyalekt :

Well, I'll talk about the money of it. Yeah. So we both were living in good situations.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

I was paying $400 a month for rent,

Dyalekt :

and I was paying similar. And we were like, well, I don't want us to take these, like roughly $800 that we're paying in rent and turn it into an 1800 dollar place.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Which is what would have happened.

Dyalekt :

But we were ready to start moving in with each other and not have all the many roommates that we had. So then it became a thing. Well, we're gonna get a place and we're gonna do that monetarily. Well, then we might. Yeah, in New York or in New York. Yeah, we're like, Okay, well, then we should we should buy place. Yeah. And that was that's our unicorn. unicorn.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

What does that mean? Yeah, exactly. And I think we were we were debating between the cost of a wedding versus the cost of a down payment on a house really was what it was ultimately,

Dyalekt :

weddings cost like 20 G's,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

so as a down payment on a house like a boring wedding, and we were so afraid to get pushed out of the neighborhood. So we just made that decision and we did get married eventually. But I will say buying a house together does open up a lot of money conversations. You definitely learn Partners credit then you see their bank statements. You see what their income is, you look at their tax returns, all of this stuff comes up in the, in the course of this conversation,

Dyalekt :

You're gonna have to know about debt.Probably the biggest problem I've heard people talking about in their relationships the thing that they have a barrier and don't want to share his debt. Yeah, often those come from bad situations. They often come from other relationships. You know, I should take this person and we all this time in our

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Past baggage, no, it's real. Well, and then just to go back to this question, there's two ways that I want to address this is there's a practical stuff you have to get ready for and there's a psychological stuff you have to get ready for, right? So the practical stuff is if your timeline is two years away, that's great because that gives you a lot of time to actually get your credit scores together. So to start paying down some debt to start figuring out how to increase your credit scores to we're going to talk about this a little bit later like to help each other with your credit scores by you know, being authorized user on each other's accounts by opening joint accounts together. Whatever makes sense, but because your time horizon is two to three years from now, that does give you plenty of time to increase your credit. If your time horizon was less than a year from now, your credit kind of just is what it is. But because you have two to three years of planning in place, you are able to actually together work on building up each other's credit. Because when you are getting ready to buy a house, most mortgage lenders want to see at least a credit score of 720. To get the best rates. Usually you want to see at least a credit score of 680 to even consider you for a mortgage at that point. So you want to get to the point where your credit scores are climbing above 700. And the best rates the highest credit score you really need. What we've seen on average is around 760. They did a study on that, that your credit score needs to be around 760 and you'll qualify for anything

Dyalekt :

On the time horizon tip when you're in a new relationship, generally, I don't think time horizons need to be brought up unless you're in a situation where time arises need to be brought up in that case then bring up time horizons on the first date. But we were talking about earlier if you're already entering relationship and things have been rolling and you've already got some thoughts and feelings. Maybe you've had discussions about the future. And as soon as you start having discussions about the future, start discussing what a time horizon looks like a means to you.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

What is your timeline for buying house? What's your timeline for starting a family? What's your timeline for paying off your debt?

Dyalekt :

Start it when you're in relationship, but it's already vague enough that you can adjust it.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah, exactly. So I love too that you guys are saving joining together. That's one of the main suggestions that I have a couple of thinking about making a huge purchase. Or if they're in the process of joining their finances, it's the first step and one of the easiest steps is just have a joint savings account together. Start at zero, and each decide how much you're planning to contribute every single month. And then that way, you have a really clear idea of, Okay, this is what we're working towards, towards our joint goal. So again, going back to what we were saying about how you each have your own individual values, but you also now have values as a couple. This is a great tangible way to actually be able to actually see those values going up together. So on this Psychological side when it comes to figuring out how to buy a house and deciding whether to buy a house together. So because you're going to be kind of unraveling all of these things, and buying a house is a long term process, it's also time to really start having a way to talk about money regularly. Whether it is money meetings, if that's how your couplehood works, whether it's about showing each other how you pay your bills, or what your bills are, it's time to really start getting used to sharing all of these things with each other on at least a conversational level. If you're not doing it on an administrative or physical level of actually joining your accounts,

Dyalekt :

And the conversation rather than administrative, I also want it to be in the way that we speak to each other. So for people, specifically for black families, there's a lot of pressure on our backs, make generational wealth happen. Yeah, we didn't have it. We didn't have access to it. And now maybe if we've got some kind of bag, we want to figure out how to get it together. Yeah. And a thing that I think is really important for us to start talking about when we talk about generational wealth and what we want to build as a couple is how we feel about it. Because like I said, in my opening, it's a lot of pressure, right? Think about generational wealth, it's like no one else has been able to do it. And now I have this possibility that I could do it. Or maybe I could do what everyone else has done, or maybe other things are gonna come in. And there's a lot.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Do you mean, like, make sure that you're both working towards generational wealth, make sure to the same page about what that means?

Dyalekt :

Well, I want to get on the same page about what that means. I think it's perfectly fine. If you don't have an opinion on it yet. If you don't know where you're at yet. Or if you're conflicted, and I think it's really important. Because when you get into early relationship things and you start building and dealing with these aspirational things, especially dealing with community, you want to say the best thing that makes you right, and makes you the one who's gonna do it all and be the leader.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Because your values are on the line in this way too. Right. Oh, my God, all of it. And also what will my partner think of me, right? All of that stuff is wrapped up into this. ,

Dyalekt :

And I don't know about you, I don't care about you, I care about her. In terms of like what I want people to think of me like I mean, like think nice would be I'm okay. Y'all can take it any way you want. But it really is so heightened. Yeah, in terms of what my partner is. And it takes a lot to be honest about the things we're afraid of the things we're confused about, and the things that we just aren't ready to do.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Right. And especially when it comes to buying a home and purchasing property, generational wealth is whether or not the conversation comes up, it is something that you're either thinking of the house as or not, right? There are a lot of people who are like, I'm gonna buy a house because I think it's a good investment. And that's the thing that I was told to do. And that's thing that I should do. And there are a lot of people who think hey, me buying a home is me putting down roots, I want to be able to pass this on to our children to other family members. Whatever that means. homeownership is one of the number one ways that families have been able to build generational wealth and been able to pass down wealth to generations after them. So buying a home has a lot of the other conversations that need to happen. Like you said, especially for families of color period. All right. That question covered a lot. Thank you for that.

Dyalekt :

Really appreciate that. And I want to bring this to What if that we have? So what if, your partner doesn't want to talk about money? What if it's that thing that you find about only and that you find out? And what if your partner just refuses no matter what you do? What do you do Dyalekt? DTMFA, right. Isn't that what whats his name said? No, no, no. Don't do that. That's the guy's

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

No, no, no, no, it's, I will say that money has a lot of a lot of trauma around it potentially for someone who has a lot of family trauma, a lot of personal trauma. And there's a lot of shame and embarrassment around talking about money in general. It's, the last taboo. I mean, parents are afraid to talk to their kids about money.

Dyalekt :

Well, it's sort of how like, race isn't real, but racism is. Money is a thing that doesn't have a positive or negative thing to it. But our relationship with money have. And what's tough and like a thing that's really hard in the conversations we have with our partner is we could have the same situation. Grew up in the same type of area, but our reaction was different. And then if one person's reaction is deemed as more positive by society, oh, you went and hustled and became a big thing and I shrank away.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Success, right,

Dyalekt :

While the other one is seen as a failure, and you don't want to share, right? So I mean, there's probably a lot of insecurity and stuff that goes behind that. Yeah, terms of why you don't want to talk about him while you're afraid. That being said, we still need to get there, right.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah, we absolutely still need to get there. And I think it may be helpful to start with understanding what your relationship with money is and what your partner's relationship with money is. And you don't have to make them take this quiz, but it could be fun. We always talk about money personalities on the show, always, always always. And we actually did an entire episode on you and your honey's money personalities Episode 143

Dyalekt :

She says honey because it rhymes with money.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

I know I don't call you honey. That's true. But yeah, you and your partner's money personalities. I'm learning. So on episode 143, we actually go through every possible money personality combination, but we found that it's very helpful for couples to know what their money personality is and what their partner's money personality is because that way you have an idea of how to approach the conversation with them. So just to give an example I am a complicator. I am someone who has all the spreadsheets of spreadsheets from my spreadsheets. I triple check that all the bills are paid. It took me forever to get on auto pay because I was like, no way am I gonna let a bank take money out of my account. I can talk about money all day long, straight up. I can talk about money all day long and all the minutiae of it and every little single detail I'll talk about all day long.

Dyalekt :

I am a money monk and saying the word money in "I am a money monk", the sentence satisfies my daily requirement talking about my money.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

It's as far as he wants to go. Okay. Tell us what you think.

Dyalekt :

Well, it's really fun because you and I are diametric opposites.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yes, we're total opposites on the chart.

Dyalekt :

And you know, it's one of those things people say about opposites attract. And then we hold each other down. And that is often the case, we see many couples that have opposite money personalities. We also see many couples that are the same money personality. It's the same. It's a similar situation. But what I really like about it is the metaphor is different. As a money monk, I need to know about the social good. That's the reason that you will get me to open up a spreadsheet, right? I need to know about the social good. And then if I want to share with you a social good, I need to have the receipts. When guys are both the same money personalities say that you guys both being paper chasers, you guys are interested in the next thing and building the next thing. Yeah, the metaphor is not about finding the difference. It's about finding the methodology in which you do your thing. So as both paper chasers, what do you think about a contract that is on the table, and what do you think about a check that is in the mail? What do you think

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

What are your individual processes that you've developed as paper chasers because there are a whole different kind of paper chaser situations that can go on. And it's a matter of figuring out where the symmetry is and also figuring out how you hold each other

Dyalekt :

down both as paper chasers and thank you, Leslie, the test can be found at brunch and budget, comm slash personality.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yes, you and your partner can take that test and it goes through a whole breakdown. And then Episode 143 goes through the combo of every single money personality for the couples. Yeah, that is often a really good and fun place to start. That's where I start with all of my couple clients is to figure out what your money personalities are, and to figure out how they work in relation with each other. Because then you're able to talk about it in a way where you're like, Oh, I understand that my husband as a money monk can only talk about money for 45 minutes max, and then after that it's over. I have to stop. I have to stop because he can do it.

Dyalekt :

You know this about your partner in different ways. If they need to go home, you know, your partner, usually right you have that look of like, Oh, yeah, they're ready to go home. It's But you have a look across the room, I'll see the look of like, Okay, everybody got to wrap it on up. And we'll do that. And it's the same thing with our partners. It's like I was saying before about the ego, we look out for our partners in the social sense. And we need to look out for them in the financial sense as well.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yes, absolutely.

Dyalekt :

And that's how we share our values, by the way. And that's why they don't always have to intersect.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Word, I love it. So I want to go into what it means in terms of credit and debt to be an authorized user on someone's account to have joint loans together. And then what happens to your credit scores if you get married, because that's a pretty common thing that happens.

Dyalekt :

So note that these are big steps. These are once you guys have decided that, you know, we're doing this for real and we would like to merge our finances in some kind of way partially, to either look out for each other or to build something new together.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah. So if you're in a place where you or your partner need to build up their credit score and do it fairly quickly, there's a thing called an authorized user. We have an Instagram post about it. Basically what it means is you add your partner or partner adds you as an authorized user on their credit card. They're able to use your credit card. And they're also able to basically take on your credit history. So how it helps your partner is one, they are not the primary holder on the account. So they don't get a ding for opening a new account. They haven't opened anything new. And also they get your credit history, they get all of your positive payment history, and they also get your credit limit on their thing. But the caveat is that with an authorized user, they're not responsible for paying down any of the debt. They're allowed to spend money on the card. They are an authorized user, not an authorized pay backer?

Dyalekt :

So, if your going to do that ,that's not just the conversation about having it, it's a conversation about what we're spending it on?

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yes, exactly. And usually an authorized user situation tends to make sense when, again, they're if they're, if one person in the couple doesn't have credit at all, maybe they're not from this country. Maybe they haven't built their credit up yet. And you can put them on as an authorized user. And you as the primary credit card holder can take anyone off as an authorized user anytime also. But you as an authorized user now are able to take all of this on. Now the thing is

Dyalekt :

Trust. Thank you, Lisa. Trust.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

So much trust. Yeah,

Dyalekt :

Great principle.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yes, it is it is. an authorized use situation. Also on a practical level is often a really great way for couples to actually split their expenses. So especially when you move in together and you start buying toilet paper together and groceries and you start sharing everything. Sometimes it's this thing where you're like, Oh, you got the groceries, this time I got the groceries this time, or, oh, we have to like split up this meal that we just bought together or split up this trip that we just bought together. If you put everything on basically this joint credit card, then you can decide at the end of the month how you want to split the credit card bill instead of trying to split every single transaction every single time you do it or trying to track things or whatever. And so I've had plenty of clients who have done that.

Dyalekt :

It's an introduction to creating the same pot that you're going to be taking money out of, while still maintaining your individuality.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah. So when it comes to authorized user, that is a really good first step. And then the next thing is joint loans. So there are some people who they don't put you on authorized user, but maybe you want to buy a car together. And this is also a really great way, especially if one partner has a better credit score than the other to build up the other person's credit score or to get them having a credit score for the first time, buy a car together personal loans, getting on a joint personal loan, because the other thing is when you have two people on a loan together, and one of them, first of all, they take into account both of your income. So that absolutely helps in terms of increasing the chance that you're gonna have a good interest rate. But also the one with a better credit score often helps lift up the other person who doesn't have as good of a credit score, and you're both able to grow your credit scores together. When it's a joint loan, you both get your credit score check so it's a ding on both of your credits, at least initially. And then after you keep making payments on time and all of that kind of stuff. Then both of your credits actually Improve. And by having auto loans together personal loans together, it really allows you to get to the point where like, now you're gonna get on a mortgage together. And you've been building all of that up together as well.

Dyalekt :

Well, and now you're doing a thing together where there were consequences if you don't do the thing. Yes. Because before you got together, I know that there are a lot of people who would question the whole authorized user thing as well, I spent my life doing the right thing, and I got to this place a mind is good. And they made mistakes. So why should I even

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

They can figure all that out themselves?

Dyalekt :

And if you are thinking that, then maybe they're not a partner to you. Because when we get to the partner thing, well, no, I'm saying like, you know, me like them, you may love them, but I don't necessarily think that you see them as a partner. You may see them as equal and you may like a lot about them. But I think when you partner is when you start getting over that is this fair because you stop thinking of it as me and you and start thinking of it as us and I know that feels like cliche and very dancing in the rain kind of stuff. But that's how we do.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yes. Oh, we got a good question, recommendation on best joint credit card. Excellent, great question. So actually, as of now, there are no such thing as joint credit cards. So you can actually own a credit card jointly, we're both of your primary account holders, and you're both responsible for paying it off. Right now, it's only one person can hold a credit card and the other person can become an authorized user. So there's a couple ways to think of this. One is you put your partner on as an authorized user on an existing card, which means it doesn't affect either of your credit scores. The other is that you or your partner open a new card, you get the ding on your credit, and then you put them as an authorized user on that new card. Often couples will do this when they're like, oh, I've been wanting the Chase Sapphire card or I've been wanting the Amex Platinum card. I've been eyeing the special card that now I can think of just for joining expenses. Especially if you're using your other credit cards for other things. So it's not a matter of having a joint credit card so much as one person opening the card and the other person becoming an authorized user.

Dyalekt :

You know, I was thinking about you know, our paper chaser becoming Hold on. Yeah, ways to join things and an idea I had about starting new stuff that might help separate and give you a little metaphor. It's a business or a venture. I would say venture because that like, has roots in adventure and feels like a fun thing rather than like a business and money thing, but like it's like a business and you should have a separate account, and separate accounting. And if you think of it as a venture, this can be a way for you to start digging in there without having all the judgments. Or worrying about what happens because this is another thing. If you guys start off with this account that you're sharing together or doing the authorized thing, and things don't go perfectly the first time you can seem like a sign that the relationship is doomed But no, everything requires practice.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Everything and everything honestly. Especially if you've never done it before. I want you to think of it as an experiment. It's all a let's see what happens or when a dialect favorite rhymes Guess and Assess.

Dyalekt :

yes. Oh, yeah. Good.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Thats al your doing at the beginning, you're guessing and assessing. You're saying oh, we think this might work out. And then after a while you're like, Did it work out?

Dyalekt :

Because the thing is when things don't work or when things aren't working as well, as you expect, you're going to go back into the patterns and the habits that you already know.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah, straight up. That's just what's gonna happen habits are as sticky as hell, right? Yeah,

Dyalekt :

Habits are the ways that we build our life. So you have to remember that these are building blocks that you're growing on, and you're gonna have to build new blocks. If you're trying to change the habits that you have. Yes, again, by creating a new venture. It's like awesome, like behavioral science stuff. You know how you will go into a room you hear like partner stuff, and like, Hey, can you go get me a thing and I'll go into the kitchen and forget. Because there's a science thing about when you go into rooms, when you change your state, then your change where your mind is that and it's the same thing. You're changing your state and creating this on purpose, rather than just forgetting where this naturally is.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Love it. Sometimes you do that though. So one misconception that I want to clear up is I get this question a lot, do your credit scores merge when you get married? And the answer is no. So your credit score and your partner's credit score don't affect each other unless you have a joint account. So if you have a joint account, because that's another like, I trust my partner, and I feel like if they're going to be equally as responsible as I am, if if you have a joint account, and someone ends up defaulting on paying that account off, then you're still responsible for paying that debt

Dyalekt :

Well, but to be specific, that default on your joint account is the one area in which your credit scores intersect, right? That's not gonna mess with all the other stuff.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Your credit scores don't merge, they don't become an average credit score. I will say though, that mortgage companies often take an average credit score, like they look at both of your scores and take the average to figure out if they're going to issue you a mortgage. So that's when your partner and your credit score really comes into play.

Dyalekt :

I mean, I'm sure that's where this misconception came from.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Exactly. But your credit scores don't merge at all. Yeah, they still are two separate things. You're still able to do two different different things with Your credit score's however you want to.

Dyalekt :

Yeah, and I kind of feel like, you know, with the whole averaging thing, if you've got an 850 credit score and your partner has a 650, they're not gonna be like, Oh, that's like 750. Right? I feel like that's not the case.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Some mortgage companies take the lowest credit score.

Dyalekt :

Well, that's the thing I wanted to bring up is that a lot of places just take the lowest credit score.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah, exactly. They don't even average it. So it really depends on what the bank decides, as we've seen with all these loans now. But anyway, that's a next week episode.

Dyalekt :

Well, no, but on the real with that, when you're talking about a partner, remember that that is going to straight up limit your options. Yeah. And that's why we want to talk about this stuff early with time horizons, because if I know that I need a house in the next two years, and I don't talk to my partner about it. Now when it's six months away, right? You can't even be mad at your partner for not having their stuff together if you wanted,

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

they didn't know and I will tell you, it does not take that long to rebuild your credit or to build up your credit. It can take less than a year. To go from a 500 credit score to a 656 80 credit score, and then from there, oh, the baby's awake. He's gonna join us. Yeah. So it doesn't take that long to actually build up your credit score. And also, if you're able to put your partner as an authorized user, if you're able to open joint accounts together, then you can build up each other's credit score faster than if you're just trying to do it by yourself. And so there's a lot of things and a lot of options that you do have as a couple, you're able to really take advantage of credit and debt in a real way and feel like you have control over and I think that's one of the most important things to think about is it's not a this is my debt, this is their debt. It's a How can we think about all of this together and really think about how we can strategize as a couple and leverage what each other has already done. Because that's the exciting part about joining this stuff and really having an open conversation about it. Oh, hello, and the babies here. Okay. So I want to go to a question and this is a great question. We are trying to To achieve FIRE, which is financial independence retire early, I know thank you. He is so cute. Oh my goodness he just woke up from a nap so he's like What's going on everybody what's going on? Um, so we are trying to achieve FIRE financial independence retire early. Planning to collect enough rental income equivalent to my salary should I pay off rental or continue investing? Dilemma is another pandemic or this one stretches out long term, the risk is the mortgage not being paid. We're grateful of the rentals we have now aren't having any issues. The loan amount left doesn't seem like it's worth refinancing given the small amount. Any thoughts? Who I have so many thoughts? Great. Yes. Yeah. This is a great question. So I will say right now that we don't know what's going to happen. I mean, whether you invest and or continue investing in the stock market, which I think is what you mean, or work on paying off the rental. The question about what's going to happen to real estate. Oh, and we can definitely elaborate on fire. The question about what is going to have With real estate and what's going to happen with the stock market is super up in the air right now. So I think that right now the advice, not advice that I can give because disclaimer, which I should have said at the beginning, please do not construe anything we take as financial advice, but is to stay on the plan that you're on whatever the plan is, whether it's to continue to invest or pay off the rental, both of those things are long term plans. And so there's no reason right now to change anything until we have some semblance of stability. And we don't know what stability looks like stability could look like, you know, another recession stability could look like jobs, bouncing back stability could look like huge government intervention, whatever that looks like, we still don't know what that looks like right now. And so for now, I wouldn't change anything. And I would wait next three months, next six months, until you feel like that you're in a place where things are stable for you. And then you can decide if it makes sense to actually pay down the rentals or continue investing the fact that you're working towards FIRE or financially independent retiring early and you're planning to actually keep and continue Bring your rental income, it might make more sense for you to consider paying down your rental faster, just so you're at a place where you know that you don't owe that mortgage. And it sounds like it's small enough where it doesn't make sense to refinance it. So you're definitely in a place where you could pay down the rental faster if you wanted to. But if there's no urgency for that, if you're still working, if you still feel like that investing still makes sense for you long term on top of the rentals. I'm not exactly sure what your time horizon is when it comes to when you plan to retire early. But if the time horizon still a little bit away, then I think it still makes sense to continue on whatever plan you're on, at least for the short term future. So that's how I would think about that.

Dyalekt :

I want to caveat that real quick just to remind folks that although that that was pretty specific, this is general finance education, Pam does not know enough about your specific financial situation to give actionable data please do more research and or consult a planner like Pam for some one on one advice about that.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Double disclaimers. Everybody we got a couple more questions are gonna have dialogue put on a song in just a second once he's finished washing his hands because that's all we do. Oh, let me elaborate on FIRE. So glow gang is asking about FIRE, financial independence retire early and it's a movement that is a is a kind of a niche movement in the personal finance world. It's this idea that there's a lot of people who are working on saving at least half their income if not more, so that they can retire early. And so that means that they're both living on very little expenses and also saving a ton of money so that they can retire early and retire early means something different to everyone. But for a lot of people in the FIRE movement, that means retiring in their 30s or in their 40s or their 50s instead of waiting till 65. I also think we should do a whole episode on this. But the concept of retirement in general is something that has totally changed, I think in the last 1020 years. Yeah, most of the idea of stay At one job for your whole life, that's not the case anymore. That's not how things work. Isn't that always the case? Yeah, so we should definitely do another show on the FIRE.

Dyalekt :

Yeah, cuz there are some people who are like, I want to retire early from the thing that I have and be done with it. And there are other folks who are like I can continue to work while I'm doing my traveling and doing the things that I love.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah, so what's next? All

Dyalekt :

right, got a song for you. It's coming out of this one is from Dayton, Ohio State. No, no Canton, Ohio. Excuse me, Canton. I'm getting my Ohio city's wrong. But it's an artist named cons, the song called love hate relationship. And it's great. Well, it talks about things like the habits, the way that we can fall into cycles, sometimes horrible cycles, that we don't know how to get ourselves out. So we put that on answering some more questions as we're getting out of here.

Song :

This garden got me sprung as many times I try to tell myself that she's not the one we both got to pass shit. It's kind of complicated. Your friends would If you told him it was contradicted but tonight it's just me and you know better than the relationship being you know? Right right get your nails done haircut all that good shit and make my niggas be like that's the chick I wish I could get the cheetahs in Russia mall ck body and cloud in the fucking mouth and everything is just how I say it was only keeper for mine in our head we smoked out stuff and made fun of me for that like getting straight to the point and along want to know where's this where's that thing going cuz you got me interested and I know what got you open so I can come over we can chill gases for Dallas so you might be on the same exact thing. We both freak so you think that's a bad thing? No, not at all. We was made for each other. So let's do our thing and we can lay with each other. Yummy. Think about things to say to my mother.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

To be honest

Song :

to you seems like we

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

will you will pick up your phone or just like you are kicking butt to us to

Song :

pitch please issue my mama don't even do that shit. Everything is drama now calming down chicken with my home girls, but you claiming these girls

Unknown Speaker :

wanna leave?

Song :

Anyways, I forgot it's the weekend on this side. That's cool, cuz I've been creeping on this slot This sponsorship the same girl that your girl saw me right when I told you that she bought my Scott Assad kit so fuck no one tell well if three weeks we together victim ramming around when we end up do rounds you

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

got to be honest.

Song :

I'd rather leave you God What the fuck? Because call me private. What was good? My bad breath out you? Come on, man. What's up? Man, you know, I'll do the strip club shirt man. Now, you know, I'm Matter of fact my fuckup he said 15 minutes. Okay, I'll meet you there. Yep.

Dyalekt :

Because we do like to play a few songs I want to talk about the other song that we have as well, that will, I guess, attack on to the end because we're getting towards the end of today's session. That one is called long distance relationship from an artist named imperfect

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Oregon. So that'll be at the end and I love Can I ask you a question about your cool computer cover. Where's it from? Thank you. It's from Amazon. DM me and I'll send you the link. It is awesome.

Dyalekt :

I love it. You probably find it in places other than Amazon. But

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

yes, this one is from Amazon. They own everything. Do they do so I want to answer some more questions. I got a question. So I finally got my stimulus check in the mail, but got the 1200 and thought I'd get more money for my kids. She was claimed on my taxes. So this is something that has come up. And the tricky part is, even if your child was claimed as a dependent, if they're over 18, you do not get the additional $500, unfortunately, so if they're over 18, and they're going to college college students are not eligible for the $500 additional stimulus check, which totally stops I know, I don't know why they made that rule. It's like college students don't need money, but you don't get the extra $500 if your child is in college right now, even if you claim them as a dependent. And then I have another question. Can you guys recommend any good books and reading material about financial success that are politically informed? Yes, we can, oh,

Dyalekt :

this is complicated, because there really aren't necessarily exactly what you're asking for. So one that talks about personal success while also talking about the systemic issue. We found a bit of a piecemeal, where we found a lot of great books that talk about systemic issues and then a lot of books to talk about how to achieve success. So I think that looking at them in tandem is really gonna be helpful.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yeah, so we recommend Devin Fergus Land of the fee where he talks about how fees are basically killing our bank accounts and killing Middle America. The prevalence of fees, bank fees, ATM fees, credit card fees, merchant fees, all of this stuff are little ways that the financial industry is just taking money from us. He's

Dyalekt :

actually got a great book series that takes chronologically the history of these types of issues. Yeah, he's been on the race and wealth podcast that was a precursor to preach to the choir, so you can also hear him talk to his great

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Yes. And then mersa burrata on the color of money. Black banks from the racial wealth gap is another great one in terms of financial success and systems. And then Bob Friedman, a few thousand dollars where he has basically a plan for giving Americans a few thousand dollars. And we're seeing now I think, with the PDP loans with the stimulus checks with expanded unemployment that a lot of people are actually benefiting financially from government aid ultimately and the idea loans and things Like that. And so I think that there is some merit to pausing student loan debt to giving businesses additional money to give them a cushion. I know this was part of an emergency act because of the Coronavirus, but we are seeing people being able to keep their businesses afloat because of government intervention. And then the final book that we recommend is Tom Shapiro toxic inequality. Tom Shapiro is the original racial wealth divide talking about it in the 90s when nobody was talking about it, and he was the original I shouldn't say original

Dyalekt :

King I was talking about a panther was talking about the 60s. But you know, he started doing in the 90s. He started doing his own time ago now cuz we're all old.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

We're all old. It's, it's true. And then I see one more question here. What's your opinion on moving 401 K's to cash versus keeping them in stock?

Dyalekt :

Yeah. That's coming up a lot.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Further disclaimer. Again, I'm not giving investment advice. But in general, what we are telling our clients to do is to not change anything going back to the FIRE question about paying down the rental versus continuing to Invest. Do not change your investment plan. Right now is not the time to change anything. You have an investment plan for a reason. Because when the markets are volatile and things are going up and down, your emotions are going to get in the way period, that's just what's gonna happen, because and that's why you created investment plan when you were in a place where you weren't emotional about it. So now is the time to stay the course. And if you're in a place where you have 10, 20, 30 years, if you have to actually access that 401k money, then you have the time to ride this out. And so for now, we recommend keeping your investment plan what it is and don't make any changes until we know what the new stability is.

Dyalekt :

Well, it's like the whole thing about you know, make your grocery list after you've had a meal and not when you're hungry. But really like I don't want to say that your emotions are getting in the way because sometimes our emotions are leading us and that's okay. If your emotions and your feelings are like I feel like we need to change and that's something that we need to address.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Totally. And yes, you can babysit our baby after quarantine Brooklyn. All right, everybody. So it's just about time Instagrams gonna kick us off in a little bit. But thank you so, so much for tuning in, we are also going to be putting this on IGTV and also on our podcast, brunch and budget.

Dyalekt :

And yeah, continue asking questions about this topic about other financial topics, if you continue to ask a torrent of questions, and that will influence the episodes that we're doing. We're doing this live at 2pm. Eastern on Fridays here on Instagra.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Next week, let me give you a preview, we're gonna be talking about PPP loan forgiveness and unemployment for freelancers. So ask all your questions about that. We already have some questions in the hopper.

Dyalekt :

Oh, yeah. And one last thing I want to say about like whether you should have your 401k and all that stuff and you're worried about leaving it there and it's like, well, what if I leave it there and then everything falls apart and the stock market goes down and it's revolution? Well, then you got nothing to worry about that way either.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Your 401k is the least of your worries. So check us out on brunch and budget. You can search for it anywhere you listen to podcasts and also we are doing cocktails and credit workshop tomorrow with Glowup Gang!

Dyalekt :

Well and before we go I said I will shout this out and I want to shout it out make sure I have it all right. There is a great artist named Camille Thomas. Got a show on zoom. holler at us for the link to it. It's gonna be it's a one woman theater show called can't take out a Parent PLUS loan like Camille Thomas directed by Molly being put on by Blackboard their virtual feature and it's a one woman show about the racial wealth divide. Super excited about it.

Pamela Capalad, CFP, AFC :

Thank you, everybody.

Song :

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